Tears rolling down the cheek,
Do u have any inkling that tears were because of your coming?
Down the curved up lips they drop to the floor,
Do you have any idea that the smile was because of your presence?
Tears blinding the glimmer of hope in my eyes,
Did you know the hope was there because of your unspoken love?
Hope newly found, makes me think about living,
Did you know that the thought of living is only with you?
Looking back,
Trying to find out where I went wrong,
I spent my nights worrying,
That losing you will be the greatest pain.
Was it because I was too honest?
Or was it because I was not beautiful?
Was it because I was too close?
Or was it because you thought I was not good enough for you?
Choking back the pain,
Blocking out any tears that might flow,
I learnt the hard way that,
Living life as before was the hardest part.
Were the mistakes of mine or yours?
That I never found out,
But what I found is,
That life is never gonna be the same anymore.
To feel a moment of pleasure,
After hours of frustration.
All that matters is,
To be or not to be.
To feel satisfied,
After intense dissatisfaction.
All that matters is,
To be or not to be.
To feel memorably happy,
After stretches of sorrow.
All that matters is,
To be or not to be.
To feel belonged,
After being the odd one left.
All that matters is,
To be or not to be.
In evasive love,
Or in ever present loneliness.
All that matters is where u choose,
To be or not to be.
Hot tears rolling down,
Sounds muffled by the sobs,
Chocked down by habit.
Cry silently, says my mind,
For no one has seen you like this.
Nor should anyone find you like this.
No one to share the hurt, No one to feel the shattered heart,
Heal fast, says my mind, For being hurt makes you weak. And weak always are forgotten. With nature as the only witness, With breeze as comforting presence, And moon bringing the needed peace. Leave me alone, says my heart, For my tears is my medicine, To heal without anyone’s help.
I am not hurt,
But my tear filled eyes threaten to spurt.
I don’t feel pain,
But my heart is already gone down some drain.
I don’t want pity,
But the looks I get make me feel giddy.
What I want I don’t get,
But my mind is already set.
Cutting across the obstacles,
Along with small miracles,
I will get what I need,
A way for my broken heart to mend.
Walking toward the mesmerizing sea, my mind overruled my impulses for a minute. I stopped and thought if my action was correct. The minute passed and my impulses ruled. Thinking became an unnecessary action. Open arms of the sea beckoned me. I let my legs lead me to a place most feared, most fought but never conquered.
Like a sexy siren, waves lapping my legs seduced me. Like a pet puppy, pleasant memories tried dragging me back. No, screamed my mind. Yes, decided my heart. Feeling only the soft sand beneath my feet I walk towards my self decided destiny. Not wanting to feel more I hurry, rebelling the sea which was ensconcing me slowly. My face feels wet, and I wonder, is it the tears or the sea. As I look forward I find myself staring into the black eyes.
The eyes which smiled when it looked at me. The eyes which searched me in every crowd. The eyes which made me feel beautiful. The eyes which led me to believe love was enough to live. The eyes which enjoyed my successes more than i did. The eyes which burned with jealousy when my work took more of my time. The eyes which were cold when they looked at me for the last time.
I found my sight blurred and I realized I am now crying. I take another step forward and slip into the frigid sea. I find myself cocooned by water, protecting me from hurt. Pain, yes a small amount, but before I could realize it was no longer there. Warmth spreads to remove traces of the cold in my body. Feels like standing in the sunshine on a cold morning. And yes, I am still staring at the hypnotic black eyes. The eyes, now smiling softly welcoming me.
With no visible physical symptoms,
With just traces of tears as side effects,
With no one else recognizing.
For it's the kind which is silent.
A smile just plastered on,
Blank look adorning the eyes,
As dreams are no longer present,
For it's the kind to banish happiness.
Deliberate avoidance or something else,
Don't know what to name it.
But names now don't matter,
For it's the kind which broke my heart.
She wanted the chill. She wanted air, cold air. She wanted the cold air to cleanse her. But she could not stop. It was a run. Run for her sanity. She was afraid. Afraid to slow down. Afraid to turn and see.
He wanted the heat. He wanted the adrenaline rush in his system. But he could not get closer. It was a chase. Chase for fun. He was excited. Excited to chase a prey. Excited to dare himself.
she tried to control her fear. Fear which was eating her. She fought to bring her control in place. As she fought to put her leg one in front of other. Her eyes blinded by the wind and her hair. She tried pulling it back.
His control already lost. Control which he never learned to control. He loved her. Loved the way her hair framed her face. Loved the way she fumbled in fear. The animal in him energized by the show of her fear.
Fear won when the cliff appeared. Turning to face her tormentor she decided. Decided to fight till death.
Sensing her change in stance, he stood. Facing his prey. His obsession. Courage in her face and fear in her eyes was a maddening combination.
A combination which she was not aware of. A combination which drew him like magnet.
A fall would end her fear. A fall would end his obsession.
She jumped to get rid of her fear. He jumped to save his obsession.
The journey down was fast. And the end was gory. All for a love beyond reason, beyond sanity.
Colors, lighting and subject played an important role. And the photographer could manipulate it to bring out the best in his photos. He knew it and used the knowledge.
She walked unaware of a study being made. A study which revolved around her. A study of her and colors. A study of her and lighting.
He knew she would not like it. She was averse to her being photographed. So he would have to be undetected.
She felt unease. She felt like being stalked. Being followed. Everywhere. in the mall, in the beach. Even in her own home.
He felt bad. But he had to do it. It was an assignment. An assignment which could change his life. The deadline was fast approaching.
She had a hectic day ahead. She pushed her unease behind. it could not affect her, she thought.
he had done it. He had to just take a step and finish it. And he would wait. Wait till he gets what he wants.
She stepped on it. An Envelope. Addressed to her. She trembled. It did affect her, she thought.
He held his breadth. He had looked at her when she saw the envelope. The expression was what he had anticipated.
She hoped it would be some advertisement flyer. But no, It wasn't. It was her photos. All hers. So her instinct was correct.
He hoped she will see through the bunch till last. He hoped she would understand. He wanted her to understand.
Her eyes blurred with rage. Her hands trembled. Her space was violated. She rushed through the entire bunch. There had to be something. Something to let her know the identity.
He recognized the rage, the search in her eyes to find something.
She found it. A card along with her pics.
He enjoyed the triumph in her looks. And he waited.
She prayed for her strength to return. She opened the card.
He held his breath. She would decide his worth.
She was astonished. Her eyes grew wide.
He decided to come out of his hiding. It was best to face everything head on.
She looked up. And saw her stalker. The photos and card forgotten.
He got what he needed. He knew he was forgiven.
The Card lay open on the floor. It read:
"I NEED YOUR SMILE TO LIGHT UP MY DAY.I NEED YOUR LOVE TO LIGHT UP MY LIFE.WILL YOU MARRY ME?"
