Why?

The tear filled eyes,
along with the reluctant smile,
why is it so hard to forget?

The ever present hollowness,
the ever growing loneliness,
why is it so hard to be complete?

The sure steps,
Steadily walking away,
why is it so hard to accept?

The never lessening pain,
the never ending love,
why is it so hard to let go?

Never Ever

Encased in defense,

Don't want the walls to be broken,

Don't want the hurt again,

For I won't be able to bear it.

Encased in rage,

Don't want it to simmer down,

Don't want the insanity again,

For I won't be able to become sane.

Encased in pain,

Don't want it to reduce,

Don't want the tears again,

For I won't be myself ever.

Do You Know???

Tears rolling down the cheek,

Do u have any inkling that tears were because of your coming?

Down the curved up lips they drop to the floor,

Do you have any idea that the smile was because of your presence?

Tears blinding the glimmer of hope in my eyes,

Did you know the hope was there because of your unspoken love?

Hope newly found, makes me think about living,

Did you know that the thought of living is only with you?

Mistakes

Looking back,

Trying to find out where I went wrong,

I spent my nights worrying,

That losing you will be the greatest pain.

Was it because I was too honest?

Or was it because I was not beautiful?

Was it because I was too close?

Or was it because you thought I was not good enough for you?

Choking back the pain,

Blocking out any tears that might flow,

I learnt the hard way that,

Living life as before was the hardest part.

Were the mistakes of mine or yours?

That I never found out,

But what I found is,

That life is never gonna be the same anymore.

To be or not to be???

To feel a moment of pleasure,

After hours of frustration.

All that matters is,

To be or not to be.

To feel satisfied,

After intense dissatisfaction.

All that matters is,

To be or not to be.

To feel memorably happy,

After stretches of sorrow.

All that matters is,

To be or not to be.

To feel belonged,

After being the odd one left.

All that matters is,

To be or not to be.

In evasive love,

Or in ever present loneliness.

All that matters is where u choose,

To be or not to be.

Tears

Hot tears rolling down,

Sounds muffled by the sobs,

Chocked down by habit.

Cry silently, says my mind,

For no one has seen you like this.

Nor should anyone find you like this.

No one to share the hurt,

No one to feel the shattered heart,

No one to see the tears.

Heal fast, says my mind,

For being hurt makes you weak.

And weak always are forgotten.

With nature as the only witness,

With breeze as comforting presence,

And moon bringing the needed peace.

Leave me alone, says my heart,

For my tears is my medicine,

To heal without anyone’s help.

Hurt

I am not hurt,
But my tear filled eyes threaten to spurt.
I don’t feel pain,
But my heart is already gone down some drain.
I don’t want pity,
But the looks I get make me feel giddy.
What I want I don’t get,
But my mind is already set.
Cutting across the obstacles,
Along with small miracles,
I will get what I need,
A way for my broken heart to mend.